Lana, throughout her life, had used consciousness altering substances to distract herself from deeper feelings.  In her young 20s she used cannabis.  Later, the distractions evolved to food, to other drugs, and then to life limiting patterns.

Lana also smoked cigarettes and had some eating patterns which she had known about but not made the connection between her past and present.

In 2020, Lana had been coping and holding onto some strong feelings and emotions from childhood. Suddenly, all this pent up energy and feeling began to rise to the surface, she felt deep fear and anxiety and then emotional numbness.

In her childhood, Lana had taken care of her sisters and put their needs before her own.  She also had to take care of her mother and often found her needs were last or not met at all.  Lana was exposed to very difficult situations at a young age, and found herself often in the position of parent or caregiver.

There were several traumatic experiences which became embedded in Lana’s soul and being.  She lived in a state of hyper-vigilance.  To cope and show up she quashed her anger responses, and this unexpressed charge was held within the physical body.  Lana felt deepening anxiety and feeling unsure of herself. Unable to make decisions or be able to stick to them.

Lana learnt a number of patterns around meeting other people’s needs in order for her to feel love.  She was also often made to feel that she was selfish if she was not looking after other people.  This not only resulted in people pleasing but in co-dependency within significant relationships.